Will I Go to Heaven When I Die?

For some reason I woke up this morning with this question in my mind, “How do Catholics know that they will go to heaven when they die?”  The Baptist way of expressing this same question would be, “How do Catholics know that they are saved?”

A Catholic may express discomfort with salvation being ascribed independent of one’s own good works.  A Baptist would very likely express concern that Catholics do not have a real relationship with Jesus Christ and have not accepted him as their Savior if they think that they can earn their way into heaven—and thus a hard-line Baptist may doubt that a Catholic is saved.

I grew up in a Catholic culture, became a Christian in an Evangelical culture, and now live in a Baptist culture in the mid-South.  I am dumbfounded at times by sweeping human pronouncements about this or that various Christian denomination's salvation.  To me it seems that more unites the Christian denominations than divides us--especially if we want to draw others to the message of Christianity.  I would best describe myself as Nondenominational Christian.

(1)          I believe that the bible is the inspired Word of God.

(2)         I know that I have an imperfect understanding of the bible although I try to study and read it daily.  I enjoy reading different points of view about the meaning of unclear scripture verses.  Ultimately either I select the interpretation that is most consistent with the O.T. and N.T. overall **OR** decide the exact meaning is superfluous to my ultimate eternal destiny as the bride of Christ.

a.    Obviously devout Christians disagree among themselves on what is literal and what is symbolic.  Here are just two of many possible examples:

                                          i.    Baptists believe that the description of creation in Genesis is an explicit science book—not just the why of creation but the literal how. Catholics are comfortable with Genesis interpreted more as the why of creation and do not feel the need, for example, invent a dual act of creation to explain away the geologic age of the earth or dinosaurs.

                                        ii.    Catholics believe that Communion is literally the body and blood of Christ himself; Baptists see it only as a commemoration of Christ’s death for our salvation.

(3)         I had a spiritual experience that removed any doubt in my mind that I am a beloved child of God.  This took place 9 years ago when I was covered only in my sin and was an agnostic at best.   This experience included a subsequent personal invitation to accept Jesus as real and true as my own existence.  My faith and trust in Christ's promise of salvation is now the primary focus of my life.  Truly everything else is secondary. 

After a Google search this morning, I found the article below written by a Franciscan priest posted on a web site for Catholics.   I have decided to post on my blog since it seems that it would be of benefit to Catholics, Baptists, and everyone in between who wants to know what Catholics actually believe about attainment of heaven.

Peace of Christ be with you—seriously!

Copied entirely from

http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0494.asp

Each issue carries an imprimatur from the Archdiocese of Cincinnati. Reprinting prohibited Who Will Be Saved? What Catholics Believe About Salvation by Thomas Richstatter, O.F.M. There's a knock at the door at mid-morning. You go to see who it is and you are greeted by, "Hello, I'm sister Dorothy and this is my son Jason. We've been saved by the blood of Christ. Are you saved? May we come in and talk to you about being saved?" At this point many Roman Catholics become uncomfortable and are not too sure what to do. While we want to be polite and respect the callers' goodwill and obvious faith, we are hesitant to say, "Come in!" There are several reasons for this hesitancy. The Gallup poll has shown that we Catholics are less likely to talk about our faith than are other Christians. Furthermore, American Catholics tend to respect others' choice in beliefs—we are uneasy in trying to bring others to our way of thinking. But more important, perhaps we realize our visitors and we will be talking about salvation in two different ways. Protestants and Catholics tend to use different metaphors for salvation. Simply put, a metaphor is a "poetic" way of conveying meaning. In this Update we'll see that our metaphors—our "word pictures" or images—of God color our very understanding of who will go to heaven or hell. Picturing God as a just accountant The accounting metaphor is so natural to Catholics that we do not even know that it is there. We see a relationship between our good deeds and our place in heaven. In a sense we earn heaven by doing good deeds and lose our place in heaven by sin; to die in mortal sin merits hell: "Each will receive wages in proportion to his labor" (1 Corinthians 3:8); "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). We imagine God as a just accountant who will reward us according to what we deserve. I remember the days when I was told that religion is like an insurance policy. We pay premiums (good works) and in the end the policy pays off (heaven). It was explained to me that the Catholic religion was the best religion because the premiums were the highest (Catholics had the most rules to follow) and therefore the payoff would be greater in the end. If we don't pay the premiums (good works) or even worse, if we commit mortal sin, then we are no longer deserving of heaven and merit the pains of hell. The Heavenly Bookkeeper sees all things—even our most secret thoughts. The accounting is just, so when we die, we'll get what we deserve. The accounting metaphor is, of course, not usually this obvious in our thinking. Yet Catholics may be surprised to learn that not all Christians think this way. Only half as many Protestants think heaven is a divine reward for those who live the good life, Gallup pollsters found. They found that twice as many Protestants as Catholics would say the only hope for heaven is through personal faith in Jesus Christ. The stereotype that Catholics believe heaven is achieved by good works and Protestants believe it is achieved by faith is clearly borne out by this finding. Yet Catholics have a broader awareness of God than the just accountant metaphor. We acknowledge, along with other Christians, that grace is a free gift. The accounting image does not adequately convey this teaching of our faith. Jesus himself pointed out the limits of the accounting metaphor. Recall the parable of the Vineyard Laborers (Matthew 20:l-16): "The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard." We remember how the landowner went out at nine o'clock, noon, three o'clock, and finally again at five o'clock, and each time hired more laborers. And we know the end of the story: "When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.' When those who had started about five o'clock came, each received the usual daily wage. So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage." When we understand salvation exclusively by imagining God as a just accountant, we are upset with the owner. We understand why the workers in the parable grumbled against the landowner; we'd grumble too! (And many Catholics do grumble when they hear this parable preached.) Jesus reminds us in this parable, and in many other places in the New Testament, that the accounting metaphor is not sufficient for understanding salvation. The accounting comparison must be balanced by the parenting comparison. The parenting metaphor "God is a loving parent" is a truth that we all believe, but we often don't apply this image to the question, Who will be saved? This can impoverish our notions of religion, salvation and God. Why isn't the parenting metaphor emphasized more? Is it because many of us in the Catholic Church who write and preach about salvation are not parents ourselves? Is it because our American culture places more value on work and money than on parenting and personal relationships? Whatever the reason, I think that it will he helpful to examine the parenting metaphor and to see its implication for our understanding of salvation. One major difference between "God is a loving parent" and "God is a just accountant" is that in the parent metaphor, reward is not based on the work accomplished. Parents love their children independently of the child' s labor or earnings. Parents love a newborn infant who has not accomplished anything. As the child grows, parents love children who make C's and D's in school, and parents love children who make A's and B's. I have seen parents at the Special Olympics as proud of their children accomplishing a task as parents cheering for their star sons and daughters at the high school basketball championship games. Sometimes a child who is sick or in trouble seems to get even more love and attention than the other children who are well and achieving their life goals. The other day at the state prison one of the inmates told me: "Father, I just can't understand why my mother still loves me. She drives clear down here from South Bend to see me each visiting Sunday. And after the way I treated that woman—I would steal the wheels off her car and sell them to buy cocaine; and she couldn't get to work, and would get in trouble with her boss and lose her job. And still she comes all this way to visit me!" Parents are like that. It is not just, it is not good accounting but it is the way parents are. And if our human parents love us so much, how much more our Heavenly Parent! How we learn about God I was celebrating the Eucharist with fourth-graders the other day and I wanted to say something about how we learn who God is. I told the children that if they wanted to know about God, think of the good, wonderful and beautiful things that we see around us and multiply by a hundred million zillion. That is how good, wonderful and beautiful God is. Among the wonderful and beautiful things we have around us is the gift of human parents. Jesus had outstanding parents in Mary and Joseph. Multiply their goodness by a hundred million zillion and we can imagine what a wonderful image of God he must have had! This may be one of the reasons why the metaphor "God is a loving parent" figures so prominently in the New Testament. Jesus refers to God as father over 100 times in the Gospels. Not all children today are blessed with the gift of two mature, loving parents; and sometimes it may be difficult to sort out the good from the bad before multiplying. But even if our human mothers and fathers fail, our God never fails. Isaiah assures us, "Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you" (Isaiah 49:15). Story after story in the Bible tells us of God's limitless love for us. I think of the story of the prodigal son. The father in the story loves both of his children, each in a different way. Actually it is the father who is prodigal, too. Who would give half of his possessions as an inheritance while still living, especially if he knew they would be squandered! It seems to me that the father in the story loves his children beyond what a good father ought. Can it be that our Father in heaven loves us even more than a father should? Who can be saved? No one needs to tell us that there is evil in the world. No one needs to tell us that there are men and women who do evil things. The metaphor "God is a just accountant" assures us that in the end they will get their due. (Sometimes, though, our assurance is a little too self-righteous. It is often other people who we want to see in hell: the Hitlers, the Stalins—and sometimes the people next door!) The metaphor "God is a loving parent," however, leads us to a different set of numbers. A parent's love can extend beyond what a child deserves. The reward is measured not by the size of the child's achievements but by the size of the parent's love. How loving is our God? How powerful? Is God's love restricted by our judgment as to whom God can or should love? Who goes to heaven? Using the accounting idea the answer is simple: all those who act justly in this world. Using the parenting image the answer is also simple: God wants all God's children, all those whom God loves, to go to heaven. This is not to say that good works are unimportant, or that it is O.K. to sin, or that God does not respect our free will. But it does invite us to look at the issue in a different way. For example, it changes the reason we avoid sin and perform good works. We do not perform good deeds in order to purchase heaven by our own merits, or to be assured of an eternal reward by the Heavenly Accountant. (We do not, for example, go to Mass each Sunday to get our card punched so that when we arrive at the seat of judgment it will be clear that we have paid our dues.) "God is a loving parent" assures us that God loves us. Once we know that we are loved, it is normal to want to return that love—to love the God who loves us first. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love. We love because God first loved us (see 1 John 4:18-19). St. Paul reminds us that while the law is powerless, love is all-powerful (see Romans 8:3). Parents know that threatening a child with punishment may change behavior for a time, but the best way to effect lasting change is by enfolding the child in love. When we are loved we are empowered to grow, to love, to perform generous deeds. Jesus, the carpenter of Nazareth, entered the Jordan at his baptism, "And a voice came from the heavens, saying, 'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased'" (Matthew 3:17). Jesus emerged from the river, empowered by that love, to save the world. The importance of being loved Several of my Baptist friends told me that the first prayer they remember learning was the hymn that goes, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so." This prayer has shaped their belief about God in a beautiful way. It helps them to realize at a very basic level that God loves each of us very much. And indeed the Bible does tell us so: God "wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth" (1 Timothy 2:4). A finding of a Gallup poll disturbed me: Among the various Christian groups in this country (Evangelicals, Baptists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, Episcopalians, Methodists, other Protestants and Catholics), Catholics were the least likely to believe "God loves me a great deal" and the least likely to say "God loves me." The reason this upset me was because I consider that my principal task as a priest, as a Franciscan and as a Christian is to proclaim the love of God. And when I read that Catholics are the least likely to believe "God loves me a great deal" it seems that I must not be doing a very good job proclaiming the love of God if the people I am talking to are not getting the message. Are Catholics receiving more bad news than gospel good news? Why all this talk about hell? Why is it that so many Catholics are unaware of the magnitude of God's love for them? Is it because we have been preaching accounting more forcefully than parenting? Is it because of our fascination for evil? Is it because it is easier to describe evil than to describe grace? I know from my own experience that it is much easier to preach about the torments of hell than it is to describe the joys of heaven. Not only preachers but also poets and other artists seem to do better with hell than with heaven. When I was a student in Europe I remember visiting cathedrals where scenes of the Final Judgment were depicted in vivid sculptures over the great doors. And I remember standing in front of Michelangelo's "Last Judgment" in the Sistine Chapel. In both cases I—along with many other tourists—was always much more fascinated by the torments of the damned than by the bliss of the saints. Hell holds a fascination for all of us. Many preachers tell us about the end of the world, interpreting the Scriptures in such a way as to show us the destruction God has planned for creation. They draw pictures for us of countless souls burning in hell. When we hear these stories it is good to remember that, as the Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us, the references to hell in sacred Scripture and in the teaching of the Church are a call to responsibility so that we might use our human liberty in accord with our eternal destiny. They are an urgent call to conversion. Although the Church definitely teaches the existence and eternity of hell, the Church has never taught that anyone is actually in hell. That judgment is up to God alone. When we think of salvation using the "God is a loving parent" metaphor, the number of those we imagine to be damned is drastically reduced! As the Catechism makes clear, the purpose of this language is to call us, the living, to responsibility and to respond to the love of our Heavenly Parent. How many are saved? Our American culture is so permeated with the spirit of individualism that it is difficult to imagine that we are all in this together. We are so accustomed to thinking of sin as a private act that it is hard to realize that, as Pope John Paul II has reminded us, every sin affects others, the Church, indeed all creation. We do not often think of all creation being saved. "For creation awaits with eager expectation the revelation of the children of God; for creation was made subject to futility, not of its own accord but because of the one who subjected it, in hope that creation itself would be set free from slavery to corruption and share in the glorious freedom of the children of God. We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now" (Romans 8:19-22). The accounting image can lead us to overlook certain texts of Scripture and the liturgy that don't seem to fit our idea of salvation. Examples are the Scripture passage which says that God is patient with you, not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9); or the prayer of the Eucharist: "Take this, all of you, and drink from it: This is the cup of my blood, the blood of the new and everlasting covenant. It will be shed for you and for all so that sins may be forgiven....Father, accept this offering from your whole family. Grant us your peace in this life, save us from final damnation, and count us among those you have chosen" (Eucharistic Prayer I). We see people around us who do evil things. We see the evil that men and women do to the love with which God embraces us. Yet if we see God as our Heavenly Parent, evil and sin are seen not so much in terms of punishable actions but as those actions which keep us from responding to God's loving embrace. What things (actions, people, attitudes) can prevent us from responding to God's parental love for us? Jesus says that one of the things high on the list that blocks us from God is wealth (another shock to those accustomed to the accounting metaphor of salvation)! As a Franciscan, I like to think that this is the reason why St. Francis, the poor man of Assisi, could respond to the Father's love so completely: No attachment to wealth stood in the way. When the rich young man in the Gospel asked Jesus, "What must I do to inherit eternal life?", Jesus told him to get rid of his possessions. "Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, 'How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!' The disciples were amazed at his words. So Jesus again said to them in reply, 'Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.' They were exceedingly astonished and said among themselves, 'Then who can be saved?'" (Mark 10:17-26). Here we have the key to understanding the parenting metaphor of salvation. When we think of love, we tend to think of the ways in which we human beings love. To imagine the vastness of God's love for us is difficult if not impossible. We ask with the disciples, "How is this possible?" Jesus answered his disciples immediately: "For human beings it is impossible, but not for God. All things are possible for God" (Mark 10:27). Thomas Richstatter, O.F.M., has a doctorate in liturgy and sacramental theology from the Institut Catholique of Paris. A popular writer and lecturer, Father Richstatter teaches courses on the sacraments at St. Meinrad (Indiana) School of Theology.

Gratitude

How do I express gratitude so great that my heart cannot contain it? How do I bear the awe of seeing God work miracles using broken people just like me? How do I express the thrill of participating in something so much bigger than myself? How can I express the elation of “giving up” in order “to give to” a cause emanating from the very heart of God the Father?

This weekend Dr. Bruce Wilkerson (international missionary and author, head of The Great Turnaround ministry, and servant of our Lord Jesus Christ) was a conduit for God’s financial blessings on our pro-life center in tiny Tiptonville, TN which is located in the 11^th poorest county in the United States.

 God brought the people that He wanted to attend our fundraising dinner last night. He showered us with the funds that He had appropriated before the beginning of time for LifeBeat Pregnancy and Family Resource Center. We raised $49,000. Although this may not seem like a large amount compared to other pro-life centers that Dr. Wilkinson speaks at as part of The Great Turnaround, it is more than six times what we raised at our last dinner.

There is no logical explanation why Dr. Wilkinson would come to speak at a fund-raising event for us; he does not come to tiny pro-life centers as part of The Great Turnaround. But who can understand the ways of the Lord? I thank Dr. Wilkinson and all those in his Great Turnaround ministry for blessing LifeBeat with their time and talents.

I also thank those publically who answered God’s invitation by attending our dinner. As chairperson for this event I printed 3,500 invitations; a small fraction of those attended our event. To those approximately 200 people who had the opportunity to be blessed by Dr Wilkinson's ministry, I thank you so much by being faithful to the invitation of the Lord. I was honored to witness your sacrificial giving and I thank you one and all from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely,

Nancy Miller Latimer,

Chair for the 2012 LifeBeat Center Fundraising Banquet
Union City, TN

Martyrdom Today

I found out about the “Voice of the Martyrs” organization through our pastor.  I am sharing some notes from his teaching today.  VOM is a legitimate organization and the problems are real…unfortunately.

If you live in the United States you may be surprised by the number of countries that do not allow Christians to openly worship, carry bibles, etc.   Although there are various estimates, the number of Christians being martyred daily, largely in these countries, ranges from 400-450/day.

In the early days of Christianity, martyrs had a huge evangelical impact.  If one is willing to die for their faith, it sends a really strong message to those watching or hearing about it from first hand witnesses.   The second-century theologian Tertullian said, “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church.”   His wonderment at the faithfulness of those early martyrs brought him to their Christian faith.  This was an absolutely an unintended side effect of the religious persecution of the early Christians.

Few realize that there is resurgence in martyrdom worldwide that far exceeds that in the early Church!  Our pastor asked, “What should be our response to the martyrdom of today?”  His answer is worth sharing:  “Be informed, be prayerful, and be prepared to suffer as well.”

In most of the U.S. while it is very fashionable to believe in a loving higher power or energy source, it is not fashionable to be a Christian.  Christians are branded as bigots and hateful.   The socially acceptable ‘god’ does not require too much of his followers, has no absolute standard of right or wrong because that would be inconsistent with lovingness.  The ‘higher power’ does not have a justice or holy side.  Nope, that god is all whatever-fulfills-you-is-okay.

Interestingly, where I live in the Bible belt there is an opposite but still unhealthy situation.  Most folks are “cultural Christians”.  While it may be far more acceptable in the South to acknowledge a Christian God in public places than any other place I have lived, the majority of people here (estimated by various source to be 80%) are not part of any community of worship, Christian or otherwise. 

I have witnessed first-hand the severe damage done when “Christians” act in a non-Christian ways—or just like anyone else that is not a Christian.  Cute phrases abound, “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven.”  A more accurate phrase but less bumper-sticker-friendly might be, “Christians should have some life-changing evidence of their relationship with Jesus Christ.”  Christians have the same divorce rate as non-Christians.  That is except for one group of Christians—those marriages where husband and wife habitually pray together.   Did you marry your spouse because they loved the Lord?  For many professed Christians that  is not even on this list.

All of this talk of martyrdom for one’s faith…is there anything that any of us are willing to die for?  It is a hard question if you are honest with yourself.   How about if you are being tortured?   Might you survive the firing squad but not torture?  The Christian martyrs of today and tomorrow have my utmost admiration.  For eye opening information check out Voice of the Martyrs and, also, Frontiers ministering specifically to Muslim countries.  Both are worthy of your support.

Whoz Yo Daddy?

This is an addendum to my column, Genes-R-Us, in The UC Messenger that was published on Oct 12, 2011, #5 The “recent” family tree . 

When in her 70’s my mother, Helen, told me of a conversation that we shared when I was a small child.  I remember her telling me of this conversation, well over 30 years ago, as if it happened yesterday.  Helen was ironing in the utility room, as this was one of the ways she supported our family.  As I stood in the doorway looking into the utility room, I asked, “Who am I?”  My mother told me her heart jumped as she had yet to tell me that I had been adopted as an infant—and that was exactly where her mind went.  She replied, “You are Nancy Miller, that’s who you are!”  My reply was, “No, who am I really?”  I must have been quite young during this conversation because I keenly recall knowing that I was adopted as an infant from my earliest childhood memories. 

After all those years this conversation still troubled my mother, Helen, because she realized, over time, just how hungry and desperate I was for some biological family connection.  She confessed that she did not know what to say in the utility room, but she felt certain that I instinctively knew that she was not my biological mother.  I know that my question hurt her.  When I became old enough to understand that my continued and ever growing curiosity about my ancestry was painful to her, I finally stopped asking questions.  

Although I have no recollection of that conversation as a small child, I do recognize, with a sad twinge, that child’s heart.  Most of you probably take for granted what I desperately coveted as a child, a blood connection to a family history—an umbilical cord through time.  I romanticized the connection to my biological family greatly.  Eventually I located both my birth mother and several years later my birth father.  My adoptive father died when I was 28; my adoptive mother, Helen, when I was 37—only weeks after I located my birth father. 

In the last couple of years DNA testing has verified that both of the people that I call my birth parents are indeed my biological parents.  DNA testing has also been the fairly recent impetus for serious research into my biological family tree. 

Key people in the bible are always identified by their family lineage—often but not exclusively that of their father.  Even Jesus Christ defined Himself by His relationship to His Father.  Only in the last 10 years, did I finally claim my identity as a child of God.   Finally that nagging hole in my heart was plugged by Jesus Christ, my kinsman redeemer.  However, I am still grateful for the gift of biological identify that takes me back through time.  What follows is the family line for one of my grandparents—my birth father’s mother.  It connects to Charlemagne the most famous of the medieval kings.  This is not so far from my many flights of fantasy as to who I really was as a child!

Family really is precious; do not take it for granted.  You have been placed in your family whether biological or adoptive by God, the Father, for a purpose.  

Your earthly family is not the end all.  You have a place in an everlasting Family—but you do have to claim it.  I claim mine fully!

Nancy’s birth father's grandmother’s line (through Mamie Mae Pitre 1901-1991)

Pepin of Landen (c580-640) + Saint Itta (-652)

Ansegisel (c606-bef679) + Saint Begga (615-693)

Duke Pepin II or Pepin of Herstal (c634 - 714)) + Alpaida( concubine) (-)

Charles Martel (c.688 – 741) + Rotrude of Treves, (690–724)

Pepin the Short (or Pepin the Younger or Pepin III) ( -768) + Bertrada of Laon (c. 710:727 – 783)

Charlemagne (742-814) + Regina (concubine) (c.780 - )

Hugh (802-844), Archchancellor of the Empire + unknown

Petronilla (825-845) + Tertullus of Angers (821-921)

Ingelger (845-893), Viscount of Orleans and Angers +Aelinde de Amboise (844-890)

Foulques I the Red (abt 870-abt 941), Viscount ofAngers, Count of Anjou + Roscille De Loches (874-920)

Foulques II the Good (909-11 November 958), Count ofAnjou + Gerberge du Maine (913-952)

Bouchard IV the Old (943-1012), Count of Vendome +Elizabeth

Adèle de Vendome (995-?) + Roger I (985-abt 1015),Seigneur de La Tour

Agnes de La Tour (1015-1092) + Guelduin de Maillé(1010-1067), Seigneur du Petit-Martigny

Gilduin de Maillé (1035-?) + Agnes de Vendome (1055-?)

Hardouin I de Maillé (1075-1110) + Beatrix de Tours(abt 1073-1122)

Jacquelin II (1115-1175), Seigneur de Maillé + Adèle

Hardouin II (abt 1154-?), Seigneur de Maillé + unknown

Hardouin III (abt 1175-?), Baron de Maillé + unknown

Hardouin IV (1200-1252), Baron de Maillé + Jeanne deThouars (1233-1258)

Hardouin V (1234-1306), Baron de Maillé + Jeanne deBauçay (1245-?)

Hardouin VI (abt 1264-1340), Baron de Maillé + Jeannede Montbazon (abt 1305-abt 1352)

Hardouin VII (abt 1300-?), Baron de Maillé + Mahaut deLa Clarté (?-?)

Hardouin VIII (1383-?), Baron de Maillé + Perronelled'Amboise (1400-?)

Hardouin IX (1428-20 February 1473), Baron de Maillé +Antoinette de Chauvigny (1445-20 February 1474)

Hardouin X (1462-25 January 1525), Seigneur deFontenay-Labatu et seigneur de Benais et seigneur de La Forêt d'Estampes +Françoise de La Tour Landry (1470-?)

Jean I (1512-1563), Baron de La Tour Landry & Baronde Saint-Chartier + Anne Chabot (1515-1573)

Francoise (1540-1598), Count of Châteauroux & Baronde La Tour Landry + Diane De Rohan Gie (1541-20 April 1585)

Claude Landry (1570-?) + Jeanne Dugast (1573-1648)

Jean Claude Landry (1593-1671) + Marie Salle(1600-1686)

Antoine Bourg1609-1686 + Antoinette Landry 1618-1686

Piere L’AineComeau 1653-1730 + Marie Jeanne Bourg 1659-1724

Claude Pitre1670-1775 + Marie F Comeau  1678-1707

Jacques Lavergne (1706 - 1759) + Francoise Pitre (1707-)

Etienne Hebert1746-1821 + Marie J Lavergne 1734-1778

Guillaume B Hebert1773-1816 + Marie Anne Dantin 1773-1833

Jean LouisHebert  1797-1850+ Marie Rose Gaudet1800-1859

Ozime Hebert 1845-191 + Marie Adeline Ledet 1843-1929

Mathurin G Pitre1872-1918 + Ernestine M Hebert 1875-1921

Harry F Clew 1897-1984 + Mamie Mae Pitre 1901-1991

William M Clew (1929- ) + Ann Kathryn Gleason c(1933 - )

Nancy (me)

Chaetochromophobia - A Story of Recovery

My husband and I disagree on the degree to which everyday things must be perfect.  We were married for about 3 years before Doug let me hang pictures without his oversight and indispensible help.  Since moving to Union City I can load the dishwasher without having him reload it.  Shopping is not something we enjoy doing with each other.  I find something that is “good enough” rather quickly but my husband engages in real-time research checking out all possible prices and models before the optimal decision can be made.   Going clothes shopping with him is very…uh, let’s just say I need a Starbucks Frappuccino® and lots of dark chocolate. 

Because I really love my husband, I never go with him to Costco or Sam’s Club.  Going in with a list and buying only those items ruins the entire Disneyland experience for him.  At this point if you are identifying more with my husband you will want to stop reading here. 

When it comes to coloring my hair I am also a “good enough” girl.   About 15 years ago, when I decided that a small bit of grey was not attractive in my nearly-black hair, I paid to have my hair colored.  After years of sitting in the salon chair mostly waiting for the color to take, I started taking detailed mental notes and asking copious questions.   Eventually I decided to give supermarket boxed hair color a try. 

Although it just did not look that hard at the beauty parlor, I still had to conquer my fear of getting the color really wrong.  The boxed hair color experiment worked out reasonably well, even if I now had black-black hair.  The price was right and, at least, I did not have to spend hours confined to the beauty parlor chair. 

But at some point, as the grey hairs began to increase, I needed to switch to a color that was lighter than my natural hair–not a darker color.   Actually I should have been doing that all along, in which case I could have skipped the whole gothic look.  But somehow I did not connect those dots.  

Several months ago, I got the idea that I would highlight my own hair, to make up for past hair coloring sins.  After excellent instructions from the helpful and knowledgeable staff at the local beauty supply, I left with the best hair products one can buy in Union City:  the infamous highlight “cap” and that crochet-like instrument of torture that is used to pry clumps of hair through the “wanna-be” holes in the cap.   I could not wait to get started. 

Once at home, on went the cap.  After 2 hours of literally pulling my hair (ok, through the holes in the cap) I called a neighbor for help on the back part of my hair.  Another 2 hours later we were done—with the cap part anyway.  Little did I know that it was possible to experience tedium beyond housework!  The only problem was that almost all of my hair was now pulled through the cap.  We did not know that one only uses the big holes or the little holes—not both.

Next I carefully painted the bleaching solution from the bottom of my hair strands up roots to get that natural look.  I was prepared to keep the bleach on for 40 min, at 20 min I went to check my hair.  I was more than surprised to see my once black hair now bright orange and a variety of shades of bright orange at that. I quickly washed out the bleach, dried my hair thoroughly with a hair dryer, and then put the golden brown color on the upper half of my hair.  I ran out of golden brown so I had to use a different darker color on the underneath part of my hair.  Amazingly my hair turned out just fine and I was pleased to see how much the natural movement of the hair itself and the gradations of color forgive a whole host of errors and inexperience. 

Since that time I have nearly perfected the whole process.  I color my roots every 2-3 weeks depending on my demanding social calendar.  I only apply highlights every 6-8 weeks.  To apply the highlights I do not use the cap--no cap ever again.  I mix up the bleach and paint it on my hair with an art & crafts paintbrush (not a hair dye brush).  I stroke in the stinky goo in the front of my hair and enlist Doug’s help to stripe the back.  If he is not available, I just do it myself without looking.  Everything else proceeds as before. 

Nancy is shown here taking a snapshot of the  

hair-bleach painting stage.

In the off-chance there are women out there with hair-color-phobia (chaeto-chromo-phobia) there is hope and there is much forgiveness.  If at first you don’t succeed try, try again.  You can always fix hair color, really.  And it is only hair, right?  It grows back.  Well for some of us.  There could be some guys still reading this article.  If so, the methods described work perfectly well for adding in highlights to guy hair, too. 

In the future plan I plan leave the bleach in for 30 min.  I look forward to so much more gray hair as it bleaches to a lovely strawberry blond--my husband loves that color!   My cost is about less than the half the price of a box of supermarket hair color each time I color my hair.  And by the way, if your hairdresser “weaves” in 3 colors or pulls through a cap—make sure you give him/her a BIG tip.

Blooming where I am planted—pass the fertilizer, please!

My husband and I have now been in Union City, TN for about 1.5 years.  Doug has completely adjusted.  I am making some progress in my adjustment.  I’d like to think that I take 2 steps forward for each one step backward in my adjustment.  However, sometime I feel like I am taking 2 steps backward for each step forward.

I confess that I am impatient.  That same personality trait, coupled with a strong work ethic, and a dash of perfectionism, while rewarded with a six figure salary in San Diego, can stir up conflict in southern-style "slo-mo" community life.  I have decided that it might be better to “hole up” for another year before I venture out like a native again.  Perhaps in another year I can shed some more of my Type-A West Coast ‘Achieverism’. 

So what does it look like to “hole up” for me?  It consists of speaking less and writing more.  It consists of judging less and observing more.  It consists of trying to learn a positive lesson from every jab that I have felt or unintentionally hurled. 

One of my new good friends here told me that there are a whole bunch of unwritten rules in the South.  She said, “You can’t possibly know the rules if you haven’t grown up here.”   Perhaps some of those rules can sink in through osmosis.  “Hole-ing up” may, therefore, have me planted in front of my computer more.  But rather than vegetating, I am doing two things that are new for me. 

#1:  Today is the first day of my newspaper column “Genes-R-Us” in Union City’s newspaper, The Messenger.  I hope to have one column each week, exploring some trippy scientific aspect of our bodies/health ala genomics.  The challenge is to keep it accurate but keep it simple.  My husband says that “funny” is good, too.  He says that my funny needs work, but that I have the nerd thing down.  

#2:  I have set a goal to complete my first novel by this time next year.  For the last week or so I have been plotting out the method that I will use to write my book.  I don’t mean the story line, I already know that.  I wonder if anyone has created a software package to assist novelists in mapping out their books--I am a visual thinker.  I have the design for the map in my head.

"Nerd turns novelist"… has kind of a nice ring, don’t you think?   Of course, you’ll just have to take my word for it when I say I am done with my novel.  I will use a pseudonym.   I can’t wait for all this inspirational characters to die off-- I plan to write about them now.  

The Cost of Being an Agent of Social Change!

This last weekend I was in Knoxville visiting my oldest son.   I passed by a life-sized sculpture of 3 women dressed in garb from a bye gone era--button up shoes, long dresses, and hair pulled back in tight buns.  The monument, in the revitalized downtown square, was in honor of 3 women suffragettes.   I do not remember their names—but something was mesmerizing about those women.   Wow, how many times have I not thought about their sacrifice!

Many times when you and I benefit from social change, we forget the price that was paid by the agents of social change themselves and their families.  How ostracized these women would have been by those men in the community who really felt that women should not have the right to vote.   How frightened other women would have been to associate with them.   Those individuals (male or female) who were against women’s suffrage for whatever reason were not necessarily bad—they just had a blind spot. This blind spot kept women from their full potential and our political and social system from benefitting in the many ways that women could contribute to society.  For sure men were part of the change too—but the price they paid was very different.

My daughters might care little about what I went through in my career, as a women, trying to play professional in a man’s world.   Like all of us we take the battles of our predecessors for granted.   I have been asked to go to bed with my male boss—before sexual harassment was even in the working vocabulary of this country.   I have been told that I needed to stop having babies or I would never get advancement--before women could not lose their jobs for becoming pregnant.  And I have never been part of any elite, wildly successful, boy's club.  The laws that have come into existence on gender-based rights do have a history of need.  

But really sexual harassment in the workplace dulls by comparison to the sacrifices the suffragettes made.  Change is always painful—individually or collectively.  Change is not always good and is not always bad.  It depends on whose perspective one views things from.  I must confess that my world is less black and white and more shades of gray.  Sometimes it takes a war to pull the men out of the workforce for women to be accepted as part of the workforce.  And sometimes it takes women doing work to realize that they can do the work--i.e. they are not their own worst enemies!

I now find myself living in a tiny town in the mid-south that feels like society must have felt 50 years ago.   There are many unspoken rules that keep women in their place.  I was dumbfounded to find out that women are excluded from membership in the local Rotary International (RI) club--as they have for the last 75 years.  There is no argument that this local RI club does much good work in the community , however, the exclusion of women sets a very unwelcoming message to female professionals that move into the community.  The networking potential through RI club, which is comprised of the most successful and influential men in the community is out of their reach. 

Moreover, it sends an insidious message to the young women in the community, who might aspire to a profession, about their proper place.   I can only hope they get out of the community long enough to know that it is not like this everywhere.  But what about women who cannot afford to do so or will never have that opportunity? I have no problem with an all men’s club, or an all women’s club, or an all redhead’s club, or an all do-wah-ditty club.  The problem is that RI club is supposed to promote change, social justice, and equal opportunities.   So why hasn’t Rotary International yanked their charter since the local RI club excludes women?  Maybe part of the answer lies in the fact that there is allot of money in the club and they do absolutely accomplish good work that benefits the community.   Okay—but why are they allowed to use the umbrella of RI when they are so in violation of the charter?  Why not just be a civic club where they can have their gender segregation?

What has become obvious to me is that if I fight for equality on this issue—my husband will also pay a price in this community.  Not only would I become ostracized for rocking the boat—he would share blame for not controlling his wife by the pillars of the community.  Hopefully the powers that be in the TN state governance will vote to have the charter of the local club yanked and they can just become an all-men’s civic club.  Honestly, no thinking professional women would willing become a member of such a community if she knew about this undercurrent in the town.  Only family or economic conditions would keep them here or bring them here.  This does not seem to be a recipe for urban growth.   I can only pray that God gives me the courage to understand what I can change, the patience to accept what I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference!